Fucking Doggy

... "No. They're all at the funeral."--A Cape Bretoner walked into a crowded local bar, waving his Colt 45 with an 8 shot clip and yelled,"Who in here has been screwing my wife?"A Newfie from the back of the bar yelled back,"You're gonna need more ammo!"WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH.AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX.WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE DIDN'T MISS THEM UNTIL THEY HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR ABOUT FORTY MINUTES.BY THEN, TO ADD TO THE AGGRAVATION, THEY HAD TO TRAVEL QUITE A DISTANCE BEFORE THEY COULD FIND A PLACE TO TURN AROUND, IN ORDER TO RETURN TO THE RESTAURANT TO RETRIEVE HER GLASSES.ALL THE WAY BACK, THE ELDERLY HUSBAND BECAME THE CLASSIC GROUCHY OLD MAN. HE FUSSED AND COMPLAINED, AND SCOLDED HIS WIFE RELENTLESSLY DURING THE ENTIRE RETURN DRIVE. THE MORE HE CHIDED HER, THE MORE AGITATED HE BECAME. HE JUST WOULDN'T LET UP FOR A. "What....." I cried.She grinned wickedly. "Baby he told me what happened, he told meeverything. I know OK." She grabbed my arm and held on tightly. "He toldme baby."My face must have given away my embarrassment. I am sure my face must havebeen burning hot enough to use as a guidance system for a missile. "Whatdid he say?" I asked hoping that he said we just kissed or something.She lifted her hand up so it was caressing my face. "Well baby he saidNathalie gave him the best blowjob he has ever had in his life." I saggedback into the sofa not knowing what to say.She snuggled closer. "Baby it's OK. I am not mad. I think it's fuckinghot. God I am just jealous, I wish I had been there to see it."I shook my head violently. "You have the wrong end of the stick Viv. Itwas horrible, he wouldn't bloody leave it was just supposed to be a handjob but he forced me. He fucking made me do it. Fuck I was just scared andwanted him to go."She rocked me trying to comfort me, "Babe it's OK, honestly I.
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